4 ways to help your husband say how he really feels – Part Two
You can see the original article on their website here.
One popular couples counseling technique is called “mirroring.” This listening skill helps couples break out of argumentative ruts and truly hear what the other person is saying in a conversation. Sometimes husbands are reluctant to share emotions. As a wife uses “mirroring” skills, she creates a safe place for her husband to open up and share what’s really on his mind.
The pattern of “mirroring” goes like this:
Then, by paraphrasing back correctly, each spouse showed respect and consideration. If the had husband paraphrased incorrectly, then the wife could have said so. (And vice-versa) Since we’re only human, we do make mistakes. In “mirroring,” you can simply apologize and ask your spouse to say their part again. Then you repeat it back again until you get the okay.
Also, notice how neither person attacked once it was his/her turn to talk. This is important. By working to solve the problem, rather than prove who is right and who is wrong, the conversation stayed calm. Each person had ample time to discuss their viewpoint, and no blame was cast. The couple worked together to solve the problem rather than fight about each other’s flaws.
Listening and repeating are helpful. Choosing to speak kindly when it’s your turn continues that trend.